My Brain Is Actually Melting Out Of My Skull After Seeing These Completely Unhinged Things People Believed They Could Sell Online Last Week

Sep 4, 2025 | Uncategorized

1.A gently used car:

Damaged 2001 Chevrolet Tracker convertible in a ditch, listed for $800, originally $7,000
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2.A blowfish with a monacle:

Taxidermied blowfish with top hat and monocle on a stand, listed for $40
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3.Five thousands pounds of the most valuable resource on Earth:

Large cardboard box filled with numerous used TV remote controls. Text below lists price and shipping details
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4.A masterwork of art:

A pencil drawing of a person with long hair wearing a high-collared top. The listing is titled "Jennifer Lopez drawing" and priced at $20
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5.A mattress with a colorful past:

Used Ikea Espevar box spring listed for $40, with accompanying text about the item's condition
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6.A piece of BBQ history:

Barbecue sauce bottle on sale for $600 with humorous description about its age since 1983
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7.Literally just the Olive Garden sign:

Neon Olive Garden restaurant sign for sale, listed at $1,000. Page includes options to message seller or send an offer
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8.A nostalgic donut:

Listing for a pretzel-shaped donut resembling the "S" logo, priced at $5,000. Public meetup or delivery options available
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9.Your classic Spaghetti-Furby:

Macaroni Furby sculpture with blue eyelids and a quirky expression, priced at $350, displayed indoors
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10.The infamous Boobie Cactus:

Close-up of a "Boobie Cactus" with bumpy texture, held by a hand. Price listed at $35, down from $40, with local delivery option
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11.The Queen’s Mattress:

Older woman with glasses in a car. Text below offers a queen mattress for $250 in Newington, CT
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12.The perfect gift for any toddler’s birthday:

Bag of chewed gum in a clear plastic bag listed for sale at $4,200
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13.A mask that will ruin your life:

Wooden mask with carved details and open eyes and mouth, labeled as "Totally Haunted," priced at $20 in a Facebook listing
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14.Precisely 19 tampons:

Assorted tampon packs with various patterns and colors, labeled "19 Misc. Tampons (Regular) $3."
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15.The only toilet you’ll ever need:

Stainless steel prison toilet and sink combo presented for sale at $650. Pickup requires a public meetup
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16.The gift of love:

Engagement ring in an open box on a textured surface, with caption: "$20,000 she left."
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17.The Almighty Alvin:

Large Alvin the Chipmunk statue wearing a red hoodie and cap in a cluttered workshop. Price: $1,500. Listing includes a message option to inquire
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18.Febreze with attitude:

Bejeweled Febreze bottle signed by Khloe Kardashian listed for $1,234 on a sales platform, with a message prompt below
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19.A doll waiting to be restored:

Antique porcelain doll with short black hair, paint loss on face, wearing a worn fabric dress. Price listed as $80, discounted from $100
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20.The perfect lawn decoration to ensure the neighborhood kids stay far, far away:

A turtle sculpture with a human baby head next to a soda can, placed on an outdoor surface with various garden decorations in the background
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21.A cookie about to give birth:

Animal cracker shaped like a lion held by pliers, listed for sale at $20. Description notes it as a "pregnant animal cracker lion." Price firm
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22.A pizza with some miles on it:

Pizza with several slices missing, listed for $7. Description states it's lightly used. Buyer message asks about availability
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23.Kobe Bry-duck:

Kobe Bryant toy duck in Lakers uniform, new and unopened, priced at $55
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24.A most strange table:

Wooden table with painted woman, seashells, and attached wig on top. Listed for $27 in Junction City, KS
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25.And a SOUL:

Image showing humorous online marketplace listings: "Barely used osmo," "My soul," priced at $1,000,000, and more
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