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In a viral Reddit message, a woman reached out to others for advice and insight now that she’s no longer allowing her friend to “borrow my car” given the way the friend “returned it [the] last time” — and yet she’s taking heat for her stance from others.
Over 3,000 people reacted to date to the post, with nearly 1,000 comments posted so far about the dilemma.
“I have a decent used car that I worked hard to pay off,” wrote the 27-year-old woman.
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“It’s nothing fancy, but it runs well and I take really good care of it — regular maintenance, I keep it clean, no smoking, no trash left inside, etc.,” the Reddit poster went on.
“I’ve always been a little protective of it because I rely on it every day for work.”
She said that just a few months ago, a friend — “let’s call her Sarah,” she wrote — “asked to borrow it for a weekend trip because her car was in the shop. I hesitated but said yes because we’ve been friends for years and I wanted to help.”
The Reddit writer said her friend returned the car two days later with a host of problems.
There were “fast-food wrappers in the back seat,” plus “dirt all over the passenger floor.”
First of all, it had “less than a quarter tank of gas (I’d filled it before giving it to her),” wrote the woman.
Then, there were “fast-food wrappers in the back seat” plus “dirt all over the passenger floor.”
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Finally, as “the cherry on top,” there was “a mystery scratch on the back bumper that she swore ‘was already there’ (it wasn’t),” the woman wrote.
She said that she “didn’t say much at the time because I hate confrontation, but I was honestly [upset]. Especially because I expected more out of someone I’m friends with.”
The woman continued in her post, “Flash forward to this week. She texts me asking if she can borrow my car again for a different trip.”
So “I told her no, very politely,” wrote the Reddit poster, “and said I just wasn’t comfortable loaning it out anymore.”
The friend apparently became “upset” and began “saying things like, ‘Are you sure you can’t just help me out? That’s what friends do for each other’ — I feel like she’s guilt-tripping me,” the woman added.
“I just wasn’t comfortable loaning it out anymore.”
The woman wrote that she’s now “getting messages from another mutual friend saying I’m being too uptight and that it wouldn’t kill me to help her out ‘just this once.’”
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Added the woman, “I feel like I’m being guilt-tripped for setting a boundary after already being taken advantage of once.”
She then asked others for their thoughts on whether she’s wrong for refusing to loan out her car once again to the same person.
“Don’t back down,” wrote one person. “She’s not your friend, and she’s obviously already talking s— about you behind your back.”
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Another person said, “Here’s a novel thought. They have rental cars! I know, what a wacky idea.”
Another individual shared this thought, which many others agreed with: “It’s just common courtesy to return someone’s car clean, with a full tank, and in the same (if not better) condition as you got it.”
The person went on, “That’s the bare minimum as a thank-you for trusting someone with your car. She didn’t respect that the first time, so no, she shouldn’t borrow your car again.”
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And another person shared this bit of insight: “It’s your car. It’s expensive and somewhat essential. You don’t need a reason not to lend it out.”
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