Let’s run through this anti-science nonsense one by one…
Disney could have screened the movie early for social-media influencers to get great word of mouth out there. But the movie sucks. And its suckage has nothing to do with the controversy created by star Rachel Zegler or Disney’s decision to alter the dwarfs and the prince and turn the Snow White character into a girlboss.
The movie objectively blows chunks. And, in fact, there were early Twitter/X reviews, all of which I would sum up this way: Not as bad as I expected. Where exactly was this “great word of mouth” expected to come from?
Still, as we reported, the uphill with Snow White is the fact it’s a feature take of a classic Disney toon (Dumbo, Maleficent). And those have a very different box office outcome than anything being adapted past the 1989 Jeffrey Katzenberg musical renaissance (Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Lion King).
So, live-action adaptations of pre-1989 productions are bound to struggle at the box office for generational reasons.
Okay.
Then why did the 2016 live-action adaptation of 1967’s Jungle Book nearly clear a billion dollars worldwide?
Why did the 2015 live-action adaptation of 1950’s Cinderella clear $542 million worldwide?
Why did Maleficent, the 2014 live-action adaptation of 1959’s Sleeping Beauty, clear $759 million worldwide and spawn a sequel that grossed $491 million?
Why did the 1996 live-action adaptation of 1961’s 101 Dalmations clear $321 million worldwide 30 years ago, which is $653 million in today’s dollars?
Alice in Wonderland is the exception with a $1 billion global take, made with the acid stylings of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp when the latter was hot as hell in a pre-streaming 2010.
But-but-but excuses… And I just listed FOUR “exceptions,” which makes Snow White the exception. And Snow White is the exception because Rachel Zegler trashed the beloved original. Disney woke-raped the beloved original. And the movie sucked. This has ZERO to do with pre-1989.
If the live-action adaptations of the old Disney toon vault (pre-1989) are to survive going forward under the regime of Disney Studios boss David Greenbaum, it won’t be in a straight-up take of the IP but rather an avant-garde one like the Emma Stone fashionista punk rock Cruella.
I have no problem with the avant-garde approach, as long as the avant we’re garde-ing isn’t woketardery. Woke isn’t avant-garde. It’s prudish and reactionary and preachy and smug.
Never mind Cruella‘s $233.5M global take. Remember: it was impacted by a Disney+ theatrical/PVOD day-and-date strategy coming out of Covid.
Oh, will you look at the box office number we are supposed to ignore… to fit Deadline’s suckuppery disguised as analysis? One note, if I may…? Godzilla vs. Kong was also released on streaming (HBOMax) the same day it hit theaters. What’s more, it was released when the pandemic was even worse: two months before Cruella was released in late May of 2021… And yet, Godzilla vs. Kong grossed more than twice what Cruella did worldwide ($470 million).
Disney’s own Black Widow was also “impacted by a Disney+ theatrical/PVOD day-and-date strategy coming out of Covid” and grossed $380 million worldwide.
Again, I’m not arguing against the avant-garde approach. But rationalizing a pretty lousy $233.5 million global haul as a victim of circumstance when other movies facing the same circumstances grossed a lot more is just lazy.
Sorry. I know Penske Media believes Bob Iger’s ass tastes like butterscotch, but Snow White tanked because it was woke-raped by Disney, starred an ungrateful little snot who announced that a beloved classic would be “repaired” by the more enlightened, and the movie just stunk.
Penske would rather make a fool of itself than point out the obvious.
John Nolte’s first and last novel, Borrowed Time, is winning five-star raves from everyday readers. You can read an excerpt here and an in-depth review here. Also available in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook.
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